When you really like a man, you simply want it to work.

He checks off most of the characteristics you’re looking for in a man. You connect with him on a heart level. He makes you laugh. He is very attractive. Is this him then?

You actually know that you need to let a man chase you. But then it just doesn’t go as fast as you want it to. Or he is not really putting in the effort and you want to change that. You start thinking: “Maybe I am not doing enough” Or: “Once he knows me better, he will put in the effort too” And: “We are living in a modern time and age, so why can’t we women take control ourselves when we like someone?”

And then you start texting him more than he texts you. You ask him out and arrange a date. You show up where he could be so you see each other. But then he actually starts doing less and less. And you start doing even more because you guys are a match made in heaven, right?

Until you come to a point where you feel you’re doing all the work and he seems to have lost all interest. You are coming to the conclusion that chasing him doesn’t work. It actually doesn’t put the odds in your favor of this working out. But how do you stop this? How do you stop chasing a man when he is not putting in any effort?

In this dating advice video I will be sharing 5 tips and mindset shifts on how to stop chasing a man and put the odds in your favor that he starts chasing you again or if he doesn’t, you can let him go and open yourself up for a man that does invest in you too.

Firstly, understand that what you are doing is fantasizing.
You hardly know the man. Yes, it might look like he is a match made in heaven but he might also not be. Once our brain thinks he might be the one, we really want it to work. That will activate you want to chase him. So help yourself and take your time to get to know the man instead of fantasizing.

Second, you might have a scarcity mindset.
When you believe there are only a few good men out there (and he is one of them) you simply want this to work. This will activate you chasing him too. Help yourself by telling yourself there a plenty of good men out there. This will stop you from chasing.

Focussing on your own life will also help you to stop chasing him.
What I see happening a lot is that women are not fully happy with their own lives and with that, are trying to find their happiness in a man. This will activate you chasing a man too.

Fourthly, work on your self-love and self-esteem.
You deserve a man that also invests in you. But if you deep down inside don’t feel ‘good enough’, you will find it very hard to give a man space to actually chase you. You don’t feel good enough, so why would a good man chase you? So then you start chasing him, hoping he will choose you.

Lastly, invest in trying to understand men on a deeper level.
I can tell you he needs to chase you. But if you don’t understand WHY he needs it, and what the dynamics between men and women are all about, you will do the chasing. This is all about Gender intelligence, what I teach on YouTube and on an even deeper level in my masterclass ‘from Single to The One’ and of course during my personal coaching. 

If you are wondering:

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Then this video is for you! ❤️

Much love, Maria

– Mars Venus & NLP coach
Dating coach for women